i dontknow what got into me lor. smiling kambingishly while hugging the books. merepek per. dah buang tebiat? aiyoyo thambikai.

still, tak sia-sia buat counter duty today. (:

i was just thinking kan, i think one day kan, kalau dah tua, i want to kerja as a cashier. (: dream come trueeeee maaaaan. tapi susah nak pilih tempat. NTUC? takbleh cause aiyoooo ade swine. 7eleven? pun taknak ah cause ader arak and all. okay ah, if i were to be a cashier one day, i wanna work at Daiso. waaaaaaaahhhhhhh.....best job at the best place everrrr.

mepek seh. orang sume cita-cita tinggi. jadi doctor, jadi lecturer, jadi pilot. and what do i dream of? being a cashier. baik sungguh.

i. am. very. very. very. very. bored. one and a half more hours to go and hellooooo weekends! after today, i have 5 more weeks to go and byeeeeeee workkkk! bestnye. then i'll have 3 weeks of rotting and slacking at home. yaaay. i so need this break so that i can shop for clothes and make sure i dont buy clothes which look like pyjamas. hmph.

hopefully my medical test is satisfactory. minus the BMI though. they dont care about BMI do they? if they do then im so gonna buy a super huge axe and axe my excess adipose tissues away.

........lapar ah.

TODAY SHALL BE THE DAY.
if you dont want to be fat forever razmirah, you must make today THE day.

ok thankyou.

tapi dengar-dengar, a few months ago pun i've said this. tapi tak menjadi lah pulak kan. semangat kekentalan bacin betuls. but this time it's different. it will work because because....ahhh, dang. who am i kidding. i'd probably be fat forever until my last day on Earth.

Its a fact my dear. Painful but very dang true. so shut up.

i am terribly horribly nakmamposly hungryyyyy. but im in a dilemma ni sekarang. to eat or not to eat. cause i want to lose at least some weight lah wei, before my medical checkup next friday. must lah, please haiyo. so i was determined to not eat anything for the next 2 weeks. tapi dengardengar sekarang je dah tak boleh tahan lagi. mak oiiii, howww.

and i dont understand lor. a healthy diet consists of 3 meals a day, with a bowl of rice, a portion of meat, 2 portions of veggies(yuck) and blablabla lah eh, i never did listen to all those crap. maybe thats why i am how i am now ah. but seriously, i eat only once a day during weekdays! well, except maybe once a week where i allow myself to eat during lunch time. but the rest of the days, i sleeeeep during lunch and only eat when i reach home at about 7. abe why abe why abe whyyyyyy does the needle in the weighing machine seem to always go further to the right instead of the left? hwhy hwhy hwhy!!!!

rabak ah gini. nak kate makan byk sangat during dinner, yeke? tak sangat ape.
nak kate metabolism rate too slow? most probably ah.
nak kate terlalu byk junk food? oh no hohoho, gulity as charged.
nak kate kurang exercise? ermmmm, exercise? ape tu?

ok lah, so i need to exercise. times like this, i wish i was still in school doing taf club so that it'd at least force me to do some exercise. ok, bedek. i just said that to make myself sound positive and determined to lose weight. padahal no PE/taf club is all i've been waiting for since Primary one. serious, tak bedek.

ok lah, ok lah. i will start exercising lah okay. tapi badminton je eh! i refuse to jog/run around the neighbourhood eh cause eeee i dontlike the feeling of running. i feel so so sooo...entah eh, i dontknow how to describe what i feel while running. macam depressed plus horrible plus pathetic plus all the available negative words in the dictionary lah.

ok, so badminton it shall be. but where? when? with who? entah lah, nanti-nantilah boleh fikir. now, let me weigh the pros and cons of eating tonight. eh takyah weigh2 ah, i am sure i'll eat lah. too lapar man, tak bleh angs!

Razmirah, you have 13 days (and a few hours) to lose weight. YOU BETTER.

i received a letter from NUS, saying that i got accepted into business. so, i was obviously very excited and at the same time very bingung cos sejak bile entah i applied into NUS. business pulak tu. so, i was like showing the letter to papa, beaming with extreme happiness ah konon. abe i re-read the letter. it was then that i realise that it wasnt from NUS. it was from SIM. so i was like so paiseh and so disappointed.

abe terbangon. yeah, it was a dream. a really freaky dream which got me perspiring like bara api yang sedang membara di hatiku yang sebak ini. ya i know, merepek seh mimpi secotet gitu pun nak berpeluh.

well oh wellsssss, i guess it has always been true when people say mimpi selalunye is the exact opposite of reality. cos tonight, i received a letter from NTU. as in, a real one, not mimpi. and since its the opposite of what i dreamt, you should be able to guess lah kan. oh wells oh wells oh wells, takde rezeki nak buat macam mane dong.

anyway, siape nak main guess the picture!




apakah itu? chocolate-flavoured ice cream? whip cream? daging rendang? Gaza Pyramid? bukit-bakau/gunung-ganang? you guess! winner gets a prize!*


*while stocks last. cause nak kene tunggu lia minum vitagen abe berak, baru boleh claim the exact same prize as the above picture. beware though. cause the 'object' above has the tendency to hop from one place to another. just imagine ah, lia was nyangkunging at the toilet at spot A, abe the 'object' ended up at spot B which is about 50cm away from her. ok, i just leaked out the answer. tak best ah gini.

okay bye dah lambat nak tido.

"I just wanted to say ... ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him — so much," said Jackson's 11-year-old daughter, Paris-Michael, before dissolving into tears and falling into the embrace of her aunt Janet.

...

Usher's heartbreaking rendition of "Gone Too Soon," which Jackson wrote as a memorial for Ryan White, one of the early public faces of AIDS, captured the pain not only of his fans and friends, but of his family, as the Jackson brothers came together and gripped a sobbing Usher in their arms afterward.

ahh, this is too painful for me to bear lah. i had to go to the back of the counter to wipe those tears away okay. :'( i wasnt even an MJ fan, yet im this sad and depressed that he died. i regret lor not cherishing and appreciating him and his songs when he was alive. to think that he died at such a young age, 2 days after he was seen energetically rehearsing for his upcoming concerts. i miss Michael Jackson lah. sounds merepek but i really do. diam okay.

Ajal dan maut di tangan Allah SWT so janganlah fikir nak bertaubat bile dah tue je.

eh but the coffin placed in front of the stage during the MJ memorial, is MJ really inside or not ah? Shouldnt he be buried according to Islam ways? I read some news saying that his brother will arrange for a Muslim burial for MJ. Wallahualam. but i really hope that he will be. and i really pray for him to be forgiven by Allah for all his wrongdoings in the past. Sekejam2 dier, sezalim2 dier, sejahat2 dier DULU(that is IF he did those things. but i think dier kene fitnah ah all those times he was said to have done some bad bad things. but i dontknow ah. i wasnt a fan kan dulu, so i dint really follow up) , at least dier dah bertaubat and dah memeluk agama Islam ah. so, Insyallah ah dier bagaikan seorang baby yg takde dosa after converting to Islam. But whatever it it, it is indeed between him and Allah. so i cannot pandai-memandai say all those baby tadke dosa things ah. hee. tapi Insyallah. doakan lah eh Arwah MJ.

ok back to the coffin. eh i dont think ah MJ is inside the coffin! Sebaaaaab, if he were really inside the coffin, why dint they just leave it open for people to see? I think dier takde kat dalam ah. I THINK ah cos then again, im just making assumptions cause i dint actually watch the whole MJ memorial. setakat fast forward all the way till the end cause dah lambat nak gi kerja. haha.

ok ah eh. better get back to reading my novel work.

eh wait..WHAT?! H1N1 FLU Outbreak: 1,217 total cases in Singapore?!
ah, selamat lah eh kiteorang. and to think that my family members and i were really panicking and scared when we were told that there were 11 cases in Singapore. that was when we were still at Mekah. and now dah bermutiply-multiply-multiply-divide-subtract-divide-divide-subtract-add-add-add-plus-add-multiply-multiply-multiply. haiyo maiyo.

and now im really being more paranoid than ever.
batok siket jer, "MAMA! nak pergi check doctor!" tapi at last tak pergi cause takot.
selsema siket jer, "MAMA! nak pergi check doctor!" tapi at last tak pergi cause takot.
having difficulty breathing siket jer, "MAMA! nak pergi check doctor!" tapi at last tak pergi cause takot.
forehead panas siket jer, "MAMA! nak pergi check doctor!" tapi at last tak pergi cause takot. padahal forehead panas cause tengah berpeluh.

haiyooo. what the fish head curry is wrong with me? Paranoid tak tentu pasal.

ok dah eh, bye thank you.

kene letak credits ke tak ah for the above quotes? letak jer ah. takot kene sue kepe. mane nak korek duit seh bayar. hahahaha. diam. ok so credits to Yahoo! news. k set, bye.

i spent my after work hours staring at the selection of cards at whitesands punye popular. i dint have a hard time choosing the 'perfect' card though cause among the many cards, there was only ONE pathetic anniversary card. ONE. thanks ah. no, really thanks. cause if there were many, two even, i'd have probably stood there for one more hour or so, trying to choose the better one. eeee, cos thats just who i am lor. cannot make decisions. rambang mata. alaa, senangsenang cakap, im very cerewet lah okay? okay.

and no, the anniversary card is not for me. DUH. its for papa! mama called earlier to ask me to buy it on her behalf.

with that, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MAMA AND PAPA!!!!

exactly 25 years ago, the both of you decided to combine forces and welcome a new path which has been created specially by Allah for mama papa. and exactly 25 years after, here you are, still as strong as ever. perhaps even stronger.

and that, im really proud of. in fact, irah jealous lah! cause i doubt that i'd ever have the same happiness that mama and papa have always had. i doubt that i'd ever see myself in the same 'fairytale' that got mama and papa together. perhaps your other children would follow your footsteps. find their soulmates, fall in love and live happily ever after.

but i guess it just wont be me lor, mamapapaku sayang. cause im the ugly duckling among the beautiful swans. im also the failure among the successful. im also the giant among the pretty dwarfs. im also the..the...the worst among the best lah eh.

:( it pains me to say and admit all these but its what i truly feel. u may not have said any of these and i know that you would never say these, or even have thoughts of it. but there's not a day when i look into the mirror and not critisize myself from head to toe.

Ya Allah, what is happening to me...i dont understand this, really. Kuatkanlah imanku. Jauhkanlah semua perkara2 buruk ini daripada mencemari fikirankuuuuuuu. :(

this post is supposed to be a happy happy love love post in conjunction with mama papa's anniversary kan. why did it suddenly become a stupid emo post for me to express my feelings about myself seh. merepeknye.

nevertheless, happy anniversary mama and papa! thank you for everything. EVERYTHING. you know we love you both! mwah mwah (:

yesterday's journey back home was rabak merabak johnson. things were actually okay ah at first. i even sempat jalan2 kat tangs to admire the beauty of the super nice strubali bags which cost a bomb. grrr, bestnye kalau dapat beli. tapi jangan harap man, confirm mama tak kasi cos membazir duit. i also think ah seh its membazir. haiya, so just padamkan keinginan yang membara di hatiku ini lor.

so anyway, everything was ok right. sekali bile sampai city hall stn, ah engkaussssss. the mrt platform dah 1/3 full with thousands(ok bedek) of people waiting for the mrt going towards pasir ris. if thats not bad enough, the opposite mrt keeps coming and coming and coming while the mrt towards pasir ris tak sampai2, sampai the mrt stn dah more than 3/4 full. satu2 muke masam macam cheese dah basi 40 hari seh.


abe dah tunggu lame2 barulah dorang buat announcement that ade mrt rosak so kene delay for 5 minutes. 5 minutes kebabai! org dah tunggu situ for 50 minit agaknye. hmph. when the mrt finally arrived, semua penuh ah duh. abe knowing sporeans lah kan, semua rush masok mrt as if dorang akan mati kalau tak naik that mrt. abe kesian seh this kakak. dahlah tengah sarat mengandung, abe muke dah merah padam and dah berpeluh rabak, tu pun those kiasu people chose to totally ignore her and merempuh masok mrt. merepek ah. kesian seh that kakak. i think eh, kalau dorang tu sume audition for mr kiasu's role, confirm plus chop sume boleh dapat and confirm lakonan dorang tu nampak real, cos they really are kiasu and they only need to be natual to let the kiasuism out. merepeknyeeeee ahhhh.

okay so, i reached home at almost 9. which is verrry late as compared to the usual 7pm. grr.

oh no no noooo, nak terberrrrry. all thanks to the 7eleven epok2 giant tu ah. im serious, its as big as a giant! as compared to the normal 3 for $1 epok2. its even bigger than the one at OCK. i tell you eh, i was already kenyang after eating only the crust. agaknya drg pakai 1kg tepung seh to buat just one of those giant epok2s. and thanks lorrr, now i reallyreally feel like beraking. mcm dah kat hujung gitu. okay, info tak perlu.

anyway, hey youuuuu. hahahah. mulot terkumat-kamit bace 'zikir' nampak! "mintakmintak tak nampak. mintakmintak tak nampak. mintakmintak tak nampak." haha, guess what? while others yang baca the real zikir look alim and menyejukkan hati sesiapa yang memandangnya, you just prove my words to be true when you terkumat-kamit saying those 3 words repeatedly. that you are (fruit in malay)less. = pengecutssssssssss.

tapi bagos jugak lah, im really happy lor now that you're happy. memang ternyata enggang sama enggang, pipit sama pipit. ok congratulations eh. slamat man, woohoo!

hahahaha, i was bored of the new novel that i am currently reading. bored of facebook as well. yahoo news lagi-lagilah boring kedegak. so, thanks to mazni's status on facebook about the MJ12 blog, i visited that blog lor. abe terbace this entry. kelaka sekali! (to me ah) so kalau you all pun boring, bacelah ok. ok bye.

Kak Pon Kena Penumbuk...

Selamat tengah malam Pujangga Malam, KC dan pendengar MJ12.

Saya dipanggil J. Kisah yang hendak saya ceritakan berlaku sewaktu umur saya dalam lingkungan 19 tahun. Kejadiannya memang seram tetapi melucukan (kelakar seram).

Dahulu, saya tinggal di Tanglin Halt. Bekerja sambil sekolah malam di Bendemeer Road. Isnin, Khamis dan Jumaat adalah hari yang paling sibuk sekali untuk saya. Siang bekerja, petangnya langsung ke sekolah. Bila pulang, hampir jam 12 malam baru sampai rumah. Keesokkannya sambung kerja lagi. Memang memenatkan.

KC dan pendengar MJ12, tempat yang saya lalu atau jalan pulang ke rumah tiap malam dari sekolah cukup menyeramkan. Bayangkanlah, pulang dari sekolah bila sudah sampai di perhentian bas di Commonwealth Road (Commonwealth MRT). Saya akan berjalan masuk ke kawasan sekolah dahulunya dinamakan Sekolah Rendah Tanglin (Mungkin KC juga tahu tentang tempat itu). Banyak yang saya dengar. Apalagi tentang gangguan-gangguan bermacam makhluk yang ada di kawasan itu. Masuk sahaja pagar sekolah (yang selalunya tidak pernah tertutup atau dikunci buat kemudahan lalu-lalang umum menembusi kawasan perumahan), saya terpaksa lalu sebelah rimbunan pokok buluh. Selepas itu lintas pula depan sekolah 4 tingkat. Kalau dari tempat saya lalu, boleh nampak dengan jelas susunan koridor tiap-tiap tingkat. Maka apapun yang berdiri di sana akan jelas dilihat dan begitu juga sebaliknya, biarpun diterangi oleh lampu neon kuning yang malap.

Sesudah melepasi depan sekolah, ada pula jalan berbumbung selebar lebih kurang 1.5 meter yang memanjangi hingga hampir ke pagar keluar kawasan sekolah. Yang tidak menyenangkan hati, di sebelah kiri deretan dengan pokok tua yang besar-besar dan dahannya pula menjalar mencecah bumbung. Sebelah kanan pula, bangunan rendah kegunaan ‘Makmal Sains’ bagi sekolah menengah Tanglin Tech. Apa boleh buat, KC. Saya terpaksa juga tempuhi tempat itu kerana itulah saja jalan dekat (short-cut) yang menuju ke rumah saya.

Seperti biasa pulang dari sekolah. Saya pun lalu tempat itu. Kerana tahu tempat itu ‘keras’, kononnya sudah cukup sedia dengan apa saja zikir dan bacaan di mulut saya (kumat-kamitlah tu kiranya). Lintasan pertama, sebelah rimbunan pokok buluh, selamat, aman dan lega. Tidak ada satu bunyi pun yang menyeramkan. Sama juga lintasan kedua di depan sekolah. Sempat curi pandang tiap satu tingkat ke satu tingkat, konon rasa dah beranilah tu KC. Tidak ada apa-apa pun rasa seram. Entah macamana, boleh tergerak hati mencongak hari. Baru sedar hari tu malam Jumaat.

Tiba-tiba KC, teringat saja malam Jumaat semangat seakan-akan terencat sekejap. Bulu tengkuk mula meremang. Jalan masih lagi hendak ditempuh. Melalui jalan sempit berbumbung. Seram sudah mula dirasai. Dahan-dahan dari pokok tua seakan-akan menggapai longlai di sepanjang laluan lorong yang samar-samar. Langkah demi langkah, mulut tidak putus-putus kumat-kamit dengan segala apa mentera yang terlintas. Sampai doa makan pun termasuk dalam bacaan. Bacaan Yassin entahkan berapa banyak agaknya, "Yaasiin…Yaasiin…Yaasiin…" berterusan. Sebab perkataan itu saja dari surah Yassin yang hafal.

Dalam sedang seram sejuk, terdengar pula dari atas bumbung bunyi seperti tapak burung berjalan. Saya berhenti, ‘Benda’ ni pun ikut berhenti. “Jangan-jangan ranting-ranting pokok berlaga bumbung…” kata hati saya untuk menenangkan keadaan diri. Saya pun teruskan lagi berjalan perlahan. Bunyi lagi. Betul-betul di bumbung atas tempat saya jalan. Saya percepatkan langkah, dia pun ikut sama. Jenguk ke depan, pintu pagar nampak samar-samar jauh lagi. Rasa takut sudah menjadi-jadi. Hendak lari rasa kaki pun tidak tertanggung lagi. Terpaksalah jalan dengan penuh berhati-hati. Sudah tidak dapat difikirkan lagi apa akan terjadi. Hidup atau mati KC.

Hampir ke penghujung jalan yang berbumbung, sambil berjalan hingga tidak dihiraukan keadaan bunyi langkah itu lagi. Tetapi semangat takut masih tetap ada. Tiba-tiba diri disergah, terpancul dari atas bumbung menggantungkan diri terbalik dengan rambut terjuntai ke bawah manakala mukanya betul-betul di depan muka saya. Terkejut sambil menjerit. Jerit dengan sekuat hati. Dengan tidak disengajakan secara spontan gerak tangan kanan saya ter’tumbuk’ betul-betul tepat ke muka makhluk itu. Betul punya kuat KC saya rasakan penumbuk saya itu. Sampai terasa genggam tangan saya sengal. Tidak berapa pasti apa sebenarnya makhluk itu kerana berlaku begitu cepat dan pantas tetapi saya pasti itu Kak’Pon’. Begitu dia terpelanting lalu tergolek-golek depan saya terus dia terbang sambil bunyikan suara jerit yang amat nyaring terus hilang dari pandangan. Saya pun apa lagi KC, dengan sekuat hati agaknya terus lari keluar dari kawasan itu. Langsung tidak menoleh belakang lagi. Terus lari sampai rumah.

Besoknya dan untuk sekian lama seterusnya, saya tidak jalan lagi di kawasan itu kerana takut didendami oleh Kak’Pon’ yang merasai penumbuk saya. Manalah tahu dia panggil ‘geng’. Sekarang umur saya sudah dalam 40an tahun. Kawasan itu sudah digantikan dengan sekolah baru cantik dan moden. Tetapi ada tiga empat pokok besar di dalam kawasan itu yang dibiarkan ‘Tua’. Pernah isteri saya lalu waktu kira-kira 9 atau 10 malam, dia melihat ‘nenek tua’ merenungnya. Sampai hendak ditegurnya tetapi tidak jadi kerana senyuman dan renungan ‘nenek tua’ itu amat menyeramkan. Wallaahu'alam……

Sampai di sini Pujangga Malam, KC dan pendengar MJ12.
Terima kasih.

Dari saya,

J

*credits to http://kisahmj12.blogspot.com.